怎么写好托福作文

? Spending a lot of time watching sports on TV and following favorite team will have negative impact on one's life.

高分学生考前练习作文

【注：此文已更正语言错误，原文请见附录】

My contention is that spending time on watching TV and following people's favorite team will have negative influence on individuals'life.

Admittedly, people will have more interests to do sports since they are affected by the teams'achievements. My brother Tom is a case to the point. He was a big fan of football. He watched all the competitions of his favorite team, the Zhejiang team in different seasons. Since he saw so many achievement of Zhejiang team, he became interested in this activity. When he was eight years old, every day after school, he would gather his friend and play football. He even became the leader in his school team to attend different competition. However, I still reckon that the time on following team and watching TV will lead to various negative impacts. There are two chief reasons mentioned below.

First, individuals who love watching TV for a long time will have larger possibility to become obesity or get other illness. Joe serves as an example; he loved watching TV, especially the sport program. In the summer holiday, he spent almost 5 hours every day on watching his favorite team to play soccer. Although the team he liked was from Europe and the World cup competition started at mid-night, he still kept watching this competition at two o'clock in the early morning. What is worse, at that time, he would always feel hungry and ate junk food such as pizza and fried chickens or potatoes. After this holiday, he gained three kilograms and became too fat to do some work and always felt tired.

Second, the irregular life will let persons lose their efficiency to study or work. Mark is a case to illustrate this. He loved the British team so much and kept awake at mid-night or early morning just to watch the team attending competition. In that time he always went to sleep at four or five o'clock in the morning and got up to work at seven o'clock. The huge shortage of sleep caused him to feel dizzy during the work and he also lacked the vigorous mentality to deal with arduous tasks. He sometimes would arrive late at company not even to mention finishing his work on time. Mark became a terrible employee in the company and caused a serious consequence, losing his job.

To put it into a nutshell, there is no denying that people will gain negative result if they use too much time on watching TV and following their favorite team.

在分析这篇文章的时候，我们首先把文章中的以下几句话抽出来。

Admittedly, people will have more interests to do sports since they are affected by the teams‘? achievements.

However, I still reckon that the time on following team and watching TV will lead to various negative impacts. There are two chief reasons mentioned below.

First, individuals who love watching TV for a long time will have larger possibility to become obesity or get other illness.

Second, the irregular life will let persons lose their efficiency to study or work.

可以看出，这几句话是段首句，在文章中起到了提纲挈领的作用。所以建议大家在写作的时候，把上述几句话先打出来，这样自己的思路清楚了，而且考官看的也清楚。以往大家写文章的顺序是从头写到尾，因为在纸上行文也只能如此;但是，托福写作是在电脑上打字，考官看到的是后完整的文章，而看不到写作的先后顺序，所以完全没有必要按照先后顺序去打字，而是按照内容的重要性来打字。也就是说，重要内容先打，次要内容后打。所以正确的行文顺序是中间段落段首句也就是说，重要内容先打，次要内容后打。所以正确的行文顺序是中间段落段首句→中间段落→首末段。而且，First和Second之后的两句话，主语是不一样的，体现句式的变化。

关于这篇文章，大家还有几个疑问。让步段一定要写么?文章中间段落写几段?多少单词?这些问题是没有固定答案的，写法因人而异。如果不写让步段，只写一边，支持的理由写3点或者反对的理由写3点，也是可以的。但是问题的一边想到3点相当难，所以可以采取1∶2的方式去写。通过上千学生上考场考试反馈过来的情况看，单一型题目写1∶2，每个段落120-140单词，中间3个段落加起来400单词左右，是合适也是容易操作的。

段首句写完后，不说理，直接举例子，这样可以吗?再次引用前一章节引述过的OG上的两句话：“The telling of stories—real and hypothetical—is not inappropriate; it is reasonable to illustrate one's ideas on this topic with examples.”“using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details”。这说明举例子是完全可行的。说实话，举例比说理简单。中国学生的说理，其实在很大程度上就是把一句话翻来覆去颠来倒去的说，毫无逻辑可言。而且，这篇文章的一个优势是把例子举的非常具体，不是蜻蜓点水般点过。托福独立写作的例子并不需要像GRE ISSUE那样用真实的、高大上的例子，可以用编造的生活中的小例子。

首段这么短，可以吗?很多考生用惯了模板，首段动辄100+单词，但是真正自己写的话很少。如果独立写作想上到Good档，有两个“严禁”：严禁模板+严禁抄题目。首段其实不需要很多废话，直接表明自己的观点就可以。或者采用“现象反驳式”，即首段的第一句话引出一种现象，而第二句话反驳这种现象，从而引出自己的观点。

这篇文章400出头的字数，会不会太短?可以这么说，初中水平的考生，稍加训练，就可以上到Fair档。但是，大多数学生的分数也就是Fair档，上到Good档的确实不多。即使有些人考场上打了600+字数，也只有Fair;而反过来，有考生考场上打了320词，也可以上到Good。据我不完全统计，考场作文能上到380+字数，离题不要太离谱，都可以上到Fair档。但是，能否上到Good，很大程度上取决于语言的精准性。一个人出错的概率是摆在那里的，写的越多，错的也越多;另外，在规定时间内，写的越多，势必时间紧张，而语言质量就得不到确保。